You're so nebulous sometimes
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
