I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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