I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
