i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
