were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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