I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Your penis caused this!
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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