someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
