they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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