One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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