Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
