what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
