If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
