i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
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I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
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She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
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