I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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