This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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