apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize