but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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