Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.

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  (248): Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious. http://tfl.nu/r1dy
  Replies (19) Good night (1118) Bad night (1268)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.

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  (856): i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall. http://tfl.nu/yfss
  Replies (66) Good night (5750) Bad night (1590)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Random question, how's your gag reflex these days

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  (315): Random question, how's your gag reflex these days http://tfl.nu/0fku
  Replies (10) Good night (4612) Bad night (913)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".

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  (239): While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth". http://tfl.nu/xyop
  Replies (6) Good night (5165) Bad night (1025)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.

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  (978): Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen. http://tfl.nu/nx95
  Replies (10) Good night (4124) Bad night (894)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces

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  (240): Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces http://tfl.nu/jwb7
  Replies (2) Good night (2111) Bad night (1395)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....

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  (215): Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank.... http://tfl.nu/wvlh
  Replies (27) Good night (1350) Bad night (5350)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?

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  (902): Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions? http://tfl.nu/r2b3
  Replies (6) Good night (2063) Bad night (1452)
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  (562): View more from California

  The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.

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  (562): The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend. http://tfl.nu/pf8e
  Replies (5) Good night (1389) Bad night (595)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.

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  (250): Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame. http://tfl.nu/gc6a
  Replies (11) Good night (1609) Bad night (537)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"

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  (210): when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug" http://tfl.nu/5kj7
  Replies (7) Good night (1682) Bad night (657)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.

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  (971): Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here. http://tfl.nu/bude
  Replies (2) Good night (850) Bad night (302)
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  (+81): View more from

  I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.

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  (+81): I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers. http://tfl.nu/u6ab
  Replies (1) Good night (624) Bad night (285)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"

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  (850): It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!" http://tfl.nu/ndge
  Replies (6) Good night (445) Bad night (477)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.

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  (609): You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight. http://tfl.nu/rykt
  Replies (2) Good night (712) Bad night (197)

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