Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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