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• (480): View more from Arizona

  you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.

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  The 17 Absolute Worst Divorces Imaginable

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (716): View more from New York

  IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.

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• (760): View more from California

  can you blow me for old times sake

  (951): View more from California

  only for old times sake

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• (254): View more from Texas

  Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be

  (254): View more from Texas

  Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?

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• (941): View more from Florida

  I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us 

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  25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (228): View more from Mississippi

  He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing

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• (917): View more from New York City

  We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.

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• (707): View more from California

  I woke up with your vibrator in my face

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.

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