it wasn't lemon gatorade
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
