Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
