So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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