He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
