the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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