Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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