Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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