we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
