Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
