My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
