i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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