keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Randomize
