We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
