Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
