we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
