The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
