life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
