I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
