I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
