i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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