I hate all girls vehemently.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
