He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
