Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize