do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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