bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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