Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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