Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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