am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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