so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
