i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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