none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
