Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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