Sponge bath it is.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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