But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
