It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
