Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
