NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
