I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I just gift wrapped bread.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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