Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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