apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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