We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
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