Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
