hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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