another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
