How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
