Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Your shirt... Was in my pants
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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