Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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