The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
No he was cute and I said yes!
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.