oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
