I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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